Monday, October 31, 2005

What some people won't believe in (or why Halloween is so awesome)

So I had the day off, save a doctor's appointment at 12:15 PM. Normally I'd try to be about 10 minutes early, but as luck would have it, my office clock has yet to be adjusted for DST (thank you, Mr. Franklin, for your oh-so-wonderful idea!). Needless to say, I had an hour to kill, and nothing to do. Now Bozeman, Montana is a pretty cool place, but not at 11 in the morning. Lacking anything better to do, I headed to Borders.

The great thing about big book store chains is they carry some of the most random nonsense you can think of--wasting an hour in one is like spending the day at a firecracker factory. I browsed the science fiction section (they made books based on "Halo?" Yeech!), and then the political science section before my feet took me to the "religion" section (I think the fact that politics and religion are neighbors in the book store is the most delicious of ironies--they both defy the human mind, after all). My eyes were quickly caught by two books on prominent display, both on the 'arts' of magic.

The first one I paged through was sort of a 'witch's primer,' teaching you everything you need to know to go from your basic cantrips (like cursing crops and bewitching lovers) to the intricacies of formulating your own potent hokus-pokus. Most of it was just plain boring; I wanted something I could pick up, glance through, and shoot fire balls from my fingertips in like thirty minutes, not a dissertation on pentacle facings and star charts. Bleh.

Of particular interest, however, was a section entitled "Why didn't my spell work?" In this two page 'explanation' of why spells don't work, the author gave several possibly reasons:

1) The timing of the spell might not yet have come. Obviously! I cast a 'wealth with +2 to dexterity' on myself, but I didn't train the 'instant casting' feat (which I don't get until 12th level )! I should probably just wait around for my wealth and prowess! But wait:

2) You did not proactively pursue the results of your spell. See, magic doesn't just 'magically' grant you the results you desire, that'd just be silly! You need to then go and make them happen! If I want my wealth and agility, I'd better start daytrading and pumping up at the gym! And if that doesn't work, there's always . . .

3) Your inner god/goddess knew it was not in your best interests. Damn my aura of poverty and sloth! I drew the friggin pentagram, I uttered the friggin incantation, and I did the legwork! Why the hell did 'SIT rectal cleansers' stock do so poorly?! Screw you, inner god/goddess!

So lets say I wanted to shoot fireballs out of my fingertips (magic missile is a level 0 spell, so even an idiot like me should be able to master it). First I'd have to spend $30 on the book. Next, I'd need to draw charts and diagrams of the stars and stuff so I could properly cast the spell. Then I'd need to do some stuff (I didn't really read the book, so I can only assume this includes sacrificing cats, drinking blood and crushing up herbs). And for all my efforts, nothing would happen because my 'inner god' doesn't think it's such a good idea for me to be shooting fireballs out of my fingers. In other words, nothing would happen--I'd be better off taking my $30 and buying a zippo, since that'd actually work (and I could get my money back if it didn't).

The other book was even funnier. It was an omnibus of magical spells--5000 of em! The thing looked like a garden variety cook book, and I knew at first glance that it would be amusing. I flipped it open to the middle, and came across a spell for contraception. It said you need to go to a grain mill at midnight (where the hell am I going to find a grain mill?) and turn it backwards 4 times.

Who came up with this nonsense? Some 14th century medieval dunce? Condoms have existed for centuries; why would I go harass the owner of the local mill when I could just slap on a sheepskin? Better yet, why would this be in a book on the shelf of a bookstore in the year 2005? Between condoms, IUDs, the pill, hormone patches, and the morning-after pill, there's no need to invoke the dark arts to prevent conception--save your soul for something more worthwhile, like selling to the devil in exchange for being a rock star or something.

So to all you witches and warlocks out there, happy halloween! Go ahead and cast your poxes on me all you want; I have perfect faith that your inner gods and goddesses know that it isn't for the best and won't let you do it. Meanwhile, if one of you freaks gets close to me I'll just use use my revolver as a 'counterspell' that isn't governed by a divinity. Science wins the day!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Technology: the sky's the limit?

So, for all of you console monkey's out there, you probably know the arguments going into this coming console war: nintendo 'says video game technology has hit its upper limits and that all next gen consoles are going to be more of the same,' MS says 'yes, and we'll it to you first,' and Sony says 'our more of the same will be better than everyone else's more of the same!' There are fans on each side of the aisle; nintendo fans will happily tell you that the nintendo is going to completely own the next generation because the tech has capped out, and sony fans will blithely argue that the ps3 will easily outpower Skynet of Terminator fame. So who's right?

Well, first off, video game technology hasn't capped by a long shot. As nice as the next gen games look (and they really do look great), they aren't photo-realistic. Meaning, you can still tell they're computer generated. I have yet to see a tree in a video game that looks anywhere near as beautiful as a real tree. Video game people look 'plastic,' lacking the little flaws that make real people look 'real.' Even the best pixel shading cannot yet accurately mimic a lake surrounded by forest and mountains (and I live in Montana, so I know what that really looks like).

Audio is another area that has nothing but growth in the cards. Video game music is either midi based (meaning the score is coded in and the music is performed 'real time' by a synthesizer) or wave audio (meaning the music is pre-performed and recorded). It doesn't take much imagination to realize that wave audio is about as interactive as pre-rendered video. And while midi has the capability of adapting to the user, its dependant on sampled instruments (which invariably fail to accurately imitate the real thing). There are programs out there that will render an instrument, real time, via programming of the overtones etc. that are present on an instrument, resulting in a more accurate sound emulation experience (I'll find a link later, can't remember the name of the damned program). Perhaps that's where digital audio will go next. Or maybe it will continue in the trend of Dolby's Pro Logic II, which allows for a real time surround sound experience. Any way you look at it, the limit has not been reached.

'But you can only slap so many transistors on a single chip!' I hear the nintendo fanbois cry. That is true. But I like to think of skyscrapers in this situation (yeah, I said skyscrapers). Originally, skyscrapers were built out of concrete. The problem with concrete is that its brittle and heavy. As the building gets larger, the amount of stress on the base of the structure increases exponentially. Further, as the building gets larger, the amount of 'play' needed to tolerate tectonic shifts, high winds, etc also increases. The tallest concrete structure ever built is the Empire State Building. But that's far from the tallest structure ever built. How'd they outdo the ESB?

The answer is simple: when the existing tech hit its upper limit, they found new tech--steel frame skyscrapers. Steel is far more pliable than concrete, and its weight is negligible compared to that of concrete. Further, because the structural integrity of the building is based on a wire-frame like network of rebar rather than blocks of concrete, the facade of the building can be made out of far lighter materials. And in areas where seisemic activity is a serious concern, the entire building can be mounted on a sort of 'rolling base,' capable of swaying with the tremors and maintaining structural integrity.

As it is with skyscrapers, so it shall be with video games. Will we hit a limit? Oh yeah. Big time. But that doesn't mean we have to stop there--we'll just find a way around. And for those who claim that there's no place left to go, all I can say is just wait and see.