Saturday, March 20, 2010

Useless merchandise for the day!


Ever been out and about using your iphone and thought "huh, this thing is too small and convenient. I sure wish it weighed more and was less convenient!"

Well behold, the wooden iphone case! Features include:
  • No protection against drops (in fact, the case will likely split, as wood is wont to do)!
  • 17% increased (improved?!?!) weight!
  • Increased dimensions (7% taller, 17% wider, and 46% deeper)!
  • Unimportant functions (like the volume buttons and the "silent mode" button) "covered up" for simplicity!
  • Best of all, the non-routed top edge gives it an awkward, "cigarette pack" aesthetic that all of your friends are sure to hate!
All this can be yours for the low low price of $28.99. Cheap!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Bioshock 2: Review

If there's one thing the net needs more of, its video game reviews!!

Well, anyhow, I enjoy video games, and I hate getting grifted into buying sucky games, so I figured hey, why not contribute to the collective hive mind of the net and share what I think about games? Speaking of the collective, its somewhat appropriate that my first review is Bioshock 2.

Premise:

Bioshock 2 is about a utopian society, the city of Rapture, which was built deep under the sea and which has failed and collapsed. You play as a survivor in this world trying to escape to the surface and to get away from the insane machinations of the antagonist, Dr. Sofia Lamb.

The world of Rapture was originally created as a lassaiz faire free-market utopia by Andrew Ryan, who is (spoiler alert!) defeated in the first game. In Ryan's wake, Dr. Sofia Lamb, a socialist through and through, takes over the city and attempts to create the perfect citizen out of her daughter, Eleanor Lamb. Your character is her former "Big Daddy," and sort of body guard for children who were in the "Little Sister" program. The kick is, you've been biologically altered to become comatose and die if your "Little Sister" (Eleanor) either wanders too far from you or dies. So all hope of escape rests in your ability to rescue Eleanor from her mother.

Gameplay:

The game plays very similar to the first Bioshock. At its heart, Bioshock 2 is an FPS. This FPS is much deeper than your average "Halo" fare, however, and has qualities that have earned it the moniker of being an "FPS/RPG."

First, you obtain new weapons as you progress through the game. Theoretically, the game can be completed entirely with the use of your starter weapons (the rivet gun and the drill arm), but through some clever game design, you will find that you enjoy your experience best if you "mix and match" as you go. For example, the rivet gun gets "trap rivets" that you can use to bunker a location if you know you are going to be on the defensive, and the machine gun has access to "armor piercing" rounds that are more effective on armored enemies (like machines or other, heavily armored "Big Daddies"). Furthermore, ammunition is limited in this game. It is not as bad as System Shock 2 (for those who remember playing this way back when), but you will want to be "conservative" with your ammo, and you will want to develop proficiency with your entire arsenal, just in case you run out of ammo for your favorite weapon.

Second, like the first Bioshock title, Bioshock 2 has "plasmids" and "tonics." These are ways for your character to alter himself genetically. Plasmids give you active abilities, like the ability to shoot lightning from your fingertips or the ability to grab things telekinetically. Tonics give you passive abilities, like the ability to run faster or carry more health kits and "eve" (eve is the "ammo" for plasmids). You can only equip so many plasmids and tonics at a given time, so there is a TON of customization to be enjoyed here. And if you don't like your loadout, you may go to a gene station at any time and change to a different set.

Third, again like the first Bioshock, Bioshock 2 has the ability to upgrade your weapons. Unlike the first game, however, you cannot purchase ALL of the upgrades--there are not enough upgrade stations. This is a good thing in my opinion, as it allows you to further "customize" your character.

There are a few differences between Bioshock and Bioshock 2 in terms of gameplay. Some are bad, some are good, and some are . . . well, you'll have to decide for yourself.

First, Bioshock 2 eschews the "inventing" mechanic of the first title. Without going into detail, through inventing, you could collect various invention "components," and then use them to make special ammo, plasmids, tonics, etc. I can't really see a good reason for Bioshock 2 to omit something that makes the game more interesting, and that's a shame. Granted, the lack of inventing isn't really earth shattering, but it was a way to "customize" yourself, and I for one miss it.

Second, Bioshock 2 adds the ability to actually walk completely submerged, literally along the bottom of the sea. Its a really cool feature, and is put to good use in several places. It just adds that certain something to the game, an air of "realism" if you will. I mean, I must not be the only person who wondered why, with all of the violence going on inside Rapture, windows NEVER broke. Well in Bioshock 2, they do break (along very scripted lines, of course). In fact, my only gripe about the water areas is that they are too small and linear. I'm walking around the ocean floor, for goodness sake--let me experience at least a little sense of exploration!

Finally, Bioshock 2 changes the "hacking" mechanic. In Bioshock, you "hacked" security cameras, security turrets, etc. by completing a sliding tile game. It was simple, but hey, I liked it. The new system involves a needle bouncing back and forth on a gauge and pressing a button when it is "in the green" zone. The new system has pros and cons. Pro: its real-time, which means if you flub up and security drones are headed your way, you have to try again while being shot at. Con: the mini game is alot less interesting. Do I like the change? I don't know . . . let's just say its a change, ok?

All of this said, the overall gameplay is terrific. I wish they'd made the game a little more RPG like the first title, but the differences aren't big enough to lose sleep over.

Score: 9/10

Graphics and Level design:

The world of Rapture is beautiful. There, I've said it. I was afraid that Bioshock 2 would just be more of the same, but I am pleased to say that it is not. The game features all new "areas" of the city, including an area resembling the French Quarter of New Orleans, an amusement park and wax museum, and a prison. Each area was a joy to explore and experience, and was complete and utter candy to my eyes. Plus, the designers were very clever in the way they "aged" Rapture from the earlier game to the sequel. Run down has become trashed, glitchy has become broken, and leaks have become geysers. The first title was Rapture as it existed shortly after its glory days. Bioshock 2 is Rapture as it exists after years of neglect and disrepair.

Unfortunately, there were some decisions made with the level design that I just don't understand. My biggest complaint: the game is just too linear! Part of the magic of Bioshock was that you weren't just surviving in Rapture, you were "discovering" Rapture. You could go from the very end of the game to an area at the beginning and try and go through "that door" that you skipped over before. In Bioshock 2, however, you cannot "backtrack" through the levels. Once you leave one area for another, you've left it behind forever. Missed a Little Sister or weapon powerup? Too bad.

Graphically, the game is about the best you're going to see on a current gen system. Seriously, this game squeezes every last ounce of power possible from the 360/ps3. As far as pc goes, while it does support DX10, its obvious that the assets were designed with the console versions in mind--the textures are a bit "low" for my taste, the bump maps are low res, and the water effects, although as good as can be expected from systems based on DX9 technology, are decidedly dated. The game devs deserve major props for maxing out what the UE3 engine can do, but honestly, if you aren't going to give pc gamers a little extra lovin' for the price of their gaming rigs, you plain shouldn't release the game on pc.


Graphics Score: 9/10
Level Design Score: 8/10

Audio:

What can I say? The soundtrack of Bioshock 2 is perfect perfection in all of its glorious perfectness. The "old timey" music is a perfect fit for the setting, the orchestral music set the right mood (sometimes pensive, sometimes dark, sometimes heart racing), and the rest of the audio is, well, perfect. The voice acting is great, the number of audio diaries is huge, the sound effects are great . . .

I could gush on and on, but why bother? The sound is perfect. 'Nuff said.


Score: 10/10

Story:

Ok, so the story is a bit of a let down. Actually, it kinda sucks. Bioshock had all sorts of sub-plots and twists and turns. Bioshock 2 is about finding Eleanor Lamb and leaving Rapture. That's how it starts, that's the middle, and that's how it ends.

The side story of "there's something in the sea" is moderately interesting, and entirely optional (which is kinda cool). But there just wasn't enough there to capture me . . .

Anyhow, yeah. The story is the weak spot of this title. Which is a shame, because it was the best part of the first title.


Score: 7/10

Replay:

Bioshock had no online. This was a good thing, if you ask me--if a developer is split between designing an offline experience and an online experience, either one or the other will suffer. With Bioshock, the goal was to make the best single player FPS/RPG hybrid possible. And it showed. But unfortunately, this didn't give the game much in terms of replay. Sure, you could play a second time through on hard, but that was all there was.

With Bioshock 2, the gamer gets a great online experience AND a great offline experience. How? 2K brought in a second developer for the online game. That way the single player game was not compromised, but we still got a multiplayer game.


And how is multiplayer, you may ask? Very enjoyable, as it should be. You get access to a full array of plasmids and weapons, allowing for huge amounts of customization. The game has a "leveling" system, where you gain access to new plasmids, weapons, and other perks the more you play (this also discourages people from "pulling the plug" if they are losing a match). Perhaps best of all, the game has special goals that you gain extra experience for completeing. For example, if you kill a player with the rocket launcher while you are in mid air, you get an extra 150 experience points.

The result is that people experiment, rather than all sticking to one or two "tried and true" techniques (sniper rifle or energy sword in halo 2 anyone?). And people don't drop connection just because they're losing. It's refreshing, its fun, you come out with a truly unique character all of your own design, and it isn't plagued (yet anyhow) by trash talking, llamaing and camping 13 year olds.


Score: 10/10

Conclusion:

Overall, this is a great game. Is it as good as the original? No, but there isn't much that is. If you liked Bioshock, then get ready to shell out another $60, because this is right up your alley.

Overall: 9/10


Saturday, March 06, 2010

Decided to bring back the Doejo blog . . .

I'm a nerd. Its true, don't try and deny it to make me feel better about myself. I like orcs, goblins and dragons. 20 sided dice give me the warm fuzzies. I look inside the computer that I built myself entirely from off the shelf components, and I'm proud of how I ran the power cabling under the motherboard to give the system a more streamlined look inside. I like video games, classical music, art, and literature. I've written a thesis. I am, in short, the last guy you would want to chill with and enjoy a beer while watching the game (don't bother quoting stats at me, I'm lucky I understand the basics of the game).

So I'm gonna blog. For awhile I was blogging about my political ideology, and how I feel that neither of the major American political parties truly meets the needs and ideological worldview of Biblical Christianity, but then I decided "eh, that's too divisive. People are gonna get mad about that." So instead I'm gonna blog about crap that no one cares about. Nerd stuffs!

So for my triumphant return to the internet 2.0 (ZOMG HTML.COM?!?), I decided to gripe about the state of Sony's flagship handheld gaming system, the PSP (and its more portable cousin, the PSP Go!).

First, the good. As old as the thing is (5 years for North America, longer for Japan), it still can put out some purty polygons. Its d-pad, although not as good as the DS, is functional (which is more than I can say for the 360's crappy rocker d-pad . . .). It is the only handheld with an analog thumb "stick" (more accurately called a "nub" because it isn't very big), and it works perfectly. It also has a beautiful wide screen. The screen on the current iteration of the system, the PSP-3000, glows like the freakin sun. In fact, the only complaints anyone has been able to level at it is that the screen is so clear, and the response times so fast, that you can actually see interlacing in some games.

The PSP also uses UMD disks (ok, that last "disk" was redundant, but whatever). While they are a draw on battery power, they also allow the handheld to run off very cheaply manufactured optical disks, storing as much as 1.2 gigs of data. When you consider that the largest DS title is 256 MB, you can see how much more the PSP has to work with for textures, models, etc.

Ok, now its gripe time.

1) There is no "official" homebrew platform (like the 360s XNA or the ps3's linux). So, people hacked the firmware of the psp to allow unsigned code to run on the system. The good? Now the psp has homebrew out the wazoo--possibly some of the best console homebrew ever made, in fact. The bad? Well, allowing unsigned code allows piracy. And that's always bad for the platform. But also, the firmware hacking was being done by one man, who quit the scene. Because he quit, homebrew enthusiasts who buy games legitimately are now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I upgrade to an official firmware to play this game legit? Or do I stay where I am for my homebrew, and download a cracked copy of the game? In the fight against piracy, true homebrew enthusiasts always get screwed, pirates always get their games for free, and the game devs don't get the money they deserve.

2) The PSP just isn't very ergonomic. When playing for extended periods, my hands go to sleep. Surely it isn't impossible to make a handheld that doesn't kill your hands!

3) One analog nub was a great idea . . . back when nintendo made the N64, and games weren't using 2 analog sticks. Guess what? Times have changed, and everyone uses 2 analog sticks now. It just makes sense: one is for moving, the other for aiming. Different schemes have been used to try and compensate for this deficiency, like Katamari using the triangle/square/circle/x buttons as the "second nub," but this just isn't the same.

4) No touch screen is a bad idea. Now before anyone gets all preachy and says "well, they didn't know it would be popular back then!," lets try and remember that the DS wasn't the first thing to ever have a touch screen. Before the DS, smartphones had touch screens. Before smartphones, palm pilots had touch screens. Before palm pilots, the freakin' apple newton had a touch screen. Now I'm not saying that touch screen controls aren't gimmicky sometimes--they're gimmicky most of the time in fact! But for the cost (very little), the potential for innovation is worth the price of admission.

5) My biggest gripe of them all: the PSP Go! The Go was the first "true" ground-up redesign (the slim is exactly the same as the phat, except it's, er, slim). And that design is really slick, actually. The Go is actually portable, has a great screen, great button layout, and even has built in flash memory. The problems are twofold: first, they STILL refused to give it an analog nub (why do you hate us Sony?!), and second, the Go doesn't have a UMD drive. That means that if you have a library of games and want to upgrade, too bad, because you have to buy them all again via digital distribution. Second, they don't even offer the entire PSP library via digital distribution! Want X-Men Legends 2? Too bad! The phat and skinny boys get it, but you don't!

The thing that really pisses me off is that the Go really could have "fixed" the psp. No one has cracked it yet, so there's no piracy on the machine (yet . . .). The form factor is perfect. The screen is great, and the button placement is sharp. And the built in flash is just pure gravy. But no second analog nub and no way to get your existing library onto the thing = epic fail.